Saturday, January 06, 2007

Second Chances

In preparation for school, I've been cleaning out my house and going through old paperwork, taxes, bills, letters, car repair receipts, maps, parking tickets, you-name-it. And while sifting through all the crap (boxes and boxes of crap, stacks of crap, piles of crap, crap-mounds, The National Archives of Crap) I've been ruminating on "second chances". If you haven't noticed, I am a particularly unforgiving person and have trouble reconciling my charcater judgements with the idea of second chances. So with that in mind I stumbled across an old birthday email from Dad I'd printed out. It's a timely reminder that I am the epitome of a second chance.
Happy Birthday Warren.

I remember well your arrival. It was really exhilerating. Some day you'll know the can't be matched.....unless you include the "cliff-hanger" category of "college graduation".

I also remember the hours following your arrival. I think it was the first time in my life that I had to face the fact that I couldn't do anything to affect the situation....I could only wait. No matter of effort on my part would have any impact. I'm not a good "waiter"......I was even less so then.

I remember sitting in the hall that night across from where you were. The hall had equipment and stuff. The clutter irritated me. It was after hours, and visitors weren't supposed to be there. They knew why I was there, but they all ignored me. That was better for all concerned I'm sure.

Earlier the Doctor had convinced me that time would determine your fate......they had no means to influence the outcome.

The heart beat was off the charts. It was such a high number....I don't remember what. I just couldn't imagine it continuing like that. Surely it would slow down, but it wouldn't. That thing was going full throttle.

Your poor Mother was so distressed......and I know [I] wasn't helpful in comforting her. They gave her medicine to sleep.

I still hate that color of green the Air Force had on those walls. I'm pretty sure they had changed the color by the time you swallowed the screw. By that time, the hospital had also adopted the new policy of taking each kids pants when showed up at the emergency room.

You need to remember that upon entry to this world, you were given a 2nd chance......make the most of it. You've got the talent and the skills.

Cheers, Dad

What a great guy. Here's a message from someone who nearly witnessed his newborn son's death 25 years ago and he can still keep it in perspective: do good, try hard, be your best, keep the big picture in mind. My aetheism isn't so restrictive that I can't say I am truly blessed. I was granted a second chance.

Yeah, we all deserve them. Everyone. But don't fuck them up when they come along.


Blogger tortaluga said...

that was a touching and inspiring post.

now can we hear more about the screw swallowing?

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Screw swallowing?

Bad decisions are not that excusable if made repeatedly without an attempt to change, or without remorse. But I believe in second chances, sometimes to a ridiculous degree, to a fault, really. I find it easier to believe in people than to judge them negatively. This is coming from the girl that held (and still holds) grudges from things that happened more than 15 years ago. I do not surrender to giving others 4th or 5th chances. But second or 3rd? definitely. If it were not for second chances, not one of us would be here. We all make mistakes and must forgive others for the same. If we did not, we would never resolve any conflict, we would never be reconsidered for something we might not have done well the first time. How can one learn without constructive criticism?

10:59 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home