Sunday, February 27, 2005

The Latest in Roadtrip Technology

The station wagon and I spent a romantic President's Day weekend in Death Valley together. Not much to it, really. She enjoyed the lightness of the 10W-15 I used instead of the standard 10W-30 ... gotta keep a girl satisfied y'know. We stayed at a free campground up in the mountains and I took $3 showers at the resort in the valley. It rained most of the time, which was weird for one of the driest places in North America.

I believe the combination of rapid shifts in altitude and crappy diet led to the horrendous, terrifying nature of my farts. Looks like I'm gonna hafta replace the driver's seat cushion. As bad as that was, NOTHING is worse than being strapped into a winter sleeping bag as the lower GI tract strives to rid the sleep environment of oxygen. My tent was basically converted into a sulfur/methane fuel-air explosive. One stray campfire spark could've devastated the campground.

Besides the drama unfolding within my asshole, it was actually one of the better trips I've taken. My mileage (1901 total) was limited by the availability of paved roads. Several were washed out by the recent storms and most others were unpaved. I managed to get a kickass hike in up towards the top of Wildrose Peak ... "towards" because I quickly lost the trail in the deep snow and managed to get close to the top but not all the way there. Snow, wind, footing, and elevation combined to keep me from summiting. The rest of the time I basically drove around and went off for walks across alluvial fans and other fabulous geological features. Death Valley is so deep that one can get the impression of being in a huge room. That's awesome. Woulda been great to have someone along, but that's the price of having students for friends. Next time I go I think I'll have to rent a truck so I can go see the cool stuff way down the dirt roads.

Oh yeah, I took some photos ... they aren't that great so I'm not gonna bother to label them.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Chuck's Graduation (aka The Red Pill)

Charles is graduating. My mind truly boggles at the thought. This event is much more than an excuse for heavy, old-style drinking (though it definitely is that) ... yes, this is an excuse to go all-out. I want ideas.

Imagine the Emperor Tojo shot (among many others) silkscreened onto t-shirts. Or a slideshow, "Chuck: A Life in Porn". Or a Saddam-style likeness of him fertilized into the Drillfield. Or a pummelling with acid-soaked fists. This is not an opportunity to be missed.