Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Pooping at Work

As I emerged from the bathroom stall the other day, a co-worker washing his hands asked me how my day was going. I replied that it had just gotten a lot better.

Few things on this planet elicit more satisfaction in my life than the act of sitting at work and spending billable hours taking a crap. And I do mean hours. Pity Brian Kramer for his inability to poop at work. It's much better than a coffee break.

Sometimes in the mornings I'll wait until I get to work. It encourages me to bike faster and besides that, utility rates in Eugene are steep; I don't want to pay for the 90 gallons it takes to repeatedly flush that enormous bowl of digested ... whatever.

When I was working in DC it literally used to be the highlight of my day. Nothing cleared away the misery of being hungover and working for a notorious government than taking some quality time on the crapper. Actually it was one of the few joys of being hungover at work, since I'd have to go multiple times. Sometimes my legs fell asleep. Interestingly, and on numerous occasions, I heard work conversations via cell phones coming from my neighbor's stall. You just knew the guy on the other end of the line was wondering what all those whistles and bangs were in the background.

Brief news update: I still don't have internet at the house but hopefully will soon within the next coupla weeks. The latest adventures in the last two months include visits to Mt. Rainier and Banff Nat'l Park. Two weeks ago a roommate and her cat moved in. Everything so far suggests that she's a lucky find on my part. Her cat is great and since she's a lesbian we oggle the same girls for the same reasons. This past weekend was a sweet party at my house. There was much drinking and general nuttiness; sadly there are no pictures to capture the carnage. Maybe next time for our Halloween party.